Ladies... (and the occasional male..) do not tell me, that you work out... and then when I ask "oh cool, what do you do?" and your response is "I do yoga slash zumba." ...and that is ALL YOU EVER DO... you have no right to be offended when I either laugh at you, or walk away to never return. Here is why.
Yoga:
its a lovely concept.. flexibility, balance, yadda yadda... but if this is all you do... ever.. you are not working out. you are stretching and sleeping, and the only reason you like it is because you use it as an excuse to buy cute outfits and prance around with a fucking mat in your hands to make guys think you are skinnier than you actually are. Yes, I understand "oohh my Gooodd its so haarrdd!!! the poses are reeeally challenging!" bitch please. if you have ever done anything else you would know better. ive done yoga, pilates, body sculpt, blah blah.. all the lil bitchy classes. Gyms love people like you because you don't use any of the actual equipment... you pay uber amounts of money every month to do shit YOU CAN DO AT HOME FOR FREE. do not even get me started on sleep yoga. just because they put a word somewhat relating to physical activity paired with the opposite of moving does NOT mean you are working out.
Ps. those "yoga pants".... are NOT for everyone...
its a lovely concept.. flexibility, balance, yadda yadda... but if this is all you do... ever.. you are not working out. you are stretching and sleeping, and the only reason you like it is because you use it as an excuse to buy cute outfits and prance around with a fucking mat in your hands to make guys think you are skinnier than you actually are. Yes, I understand "oohh my Gooodd its so haarrdd!!! the poses are reeeally challenging!" bitch please. if you have ever done anything else you would know better. ive done yoga, pilates, body sculpt, blah blah.. all the lil bitchy classes. Gyms love people like you because you don't use any of the actual equipment... you pay uber amounts of money every month to do shit YOU CAN DO AT HOME FOR FREE. do not even get me started on sleep yoga. just because they put a word somewhat relating to physical activity paired with the opposite of moving does NOT mean you are working out.
Ps. those "yoga pants".... are NOT for everyone...
Zumba:
oh Lord... I was once asked to do Zumba by a friend... and it has confirmed all of my suspicions. Zumba... is what women do, when they want to feel like they are working out, but really, they are just twirling around like fucking fairies with their flingy stringy pants to make themselves feel cool. I can think of 287 other things off the top of my head that are more productive in burning calories than doing the twist for 60 minutes. One of which would be sleeping. You burn a lot of calories while you sleep… bam. Every night I am more productive than you and im not even fucking conscious. If you participate in this embarrassing act of a so called "work-out", and are under the age of 40.... shame on you. If you do it for fun and to have a dance party, then great! you win.
...but do not tell people you work out. because you would be a liar.
(Note: Please see "Zumbogus" below for further rant on this subject)
oh Lord... I was once asked to do Zumba by a friend... and it has confirmed all of my suspicions. Zumba... is what women do, when they want to feel like they are working out, but really, they are just twirling around like fucking fairies with their flingy stringy pants to make themselves feel cool. I can think of 287 other things off the top of my head that are more productive in burning calories than doing the twist for 60 minutes. One of which would be sleeping. You burn a lot of calories while you sleep… bam. Every night I am more productive than you and im not even fucking conscious. If you participate in this embarrassing act of a so called "work-out", and are under the age of 40.... shame on you. If you do it for fun and to have a dance party, then great! you win.
...but do not tell people you work out. because you would be a liar.
(Note: Please see "Zumbogus" below for further rant on this subject)