If ur phone is charging... does that mean its on life support?
Why do men cross their legs.. r u wearing a skirt? Is ur vagina feeling a draft?....
Now 49? 50? 55?... So does that mean Now 1 is actually Then 1...
don't get me wrong, I love me some Mmmbop, but that was a loooong time ago. More importantly, who the hell is still buying these CDs?
plus.. by the time the new version of this cd comes out.. the songs are old.. so really.. its not "NOW 50"... its:
"THESE SONGS WERE COOL A FEW MONTHS AGO, BUT WE ARE HOPING THEY ARE NOT ANNOYING ENOUGH YET SO THAT YOU STILL BUY THIS CD EVEN THOUGH YOU CAN MOST LIKELY DOWNLOAD THIS CRAP ONLINE FOR FREE... 50".
... anyone ever have to type in the letters slash numbers to "prove you are not a robot" online for something ... but you click the button to listen to the letters slash numbers instead of try to read them?
....holy creepy murder movie voice.
Anyone else get real nervous when you are giving someone over the phone ur information to verify you are who you say you are… even thou ur tellin the truth.. I get all floopy like im gona stu-stutter on my birthday or address, and theyr gona call me out on.. not being me.. and when they read it back, you’re like, oh shit, did I say it right? What if I said it wrong, or too slow.. should I sound more confident? Talk faster so they know I know my stuff? Maybe I should just hang up.
i swear im legal.
Same thing when I go to buy booze… ive been legally getting stupid for 7 years now (relax with the old people jokes.) ... but I still get squirmy when I buy alcohol. Like im gona get busted with my real, legal ID… I start makin stupid conversation with whoever im with.. like “oh ya.. I drank this last time..” as if to put the cashier at ease like, don’t worry, im a professional.
Even when I go to bars. If I get ID’d im all nervous like “ok, look at the guy straight in the eye so he knows you mean business.” Or if I didn’t straighten my hair, im thinkin “ah shit, is this guy smart enough to know girls can change the way they look?” But on the outside i look all annoyed that hes even ID'ing me. the nerve. Although, a year or so ago I got hardcore ID’d while with a bunch of guy friends, and the bouncer looked at me, and asked me my middle name or something stupid. I laughed, looked at him and said “what, do you think im 19 or something?” he goes “yeah.” I said “im 26 you asshole.” And walked in. ahhhh…. My mother says I’ll appreciate it when im 40.
...and the different approach in general girls have when they are under age (not that I ever went to a bar then) and when theyr legal... under age girls are like all smiley, trying to eye fuck the bouncer... when chicks are over 21, we just give the bouncer a death stare like "let me in bitch I own you."
What's the weirdest thing you've ever gorilla glued?
I just gorilla glued my couch cushion.
other things that have been saved:
-cleats (front of one pair, the sides of another)
-roommate's toothbrush holder (oops)
-reusable ice/heat pack (that I later blew up in the microwave)
-flip flops (thanks to a friend who karate chopped my foot while I was kicking him in the ass)
-other trinkets and things I have forgotten about that were broken.. but thanks to the gorilla.. have been given a second chance at life.
the best gorilla glue save I have heard so far.. was that someone told me their uncle gorilla glued their chipped tooth back together. now that.. is gorillatastic. I wonder what the tooth looked like after it expanded in his freaking mouth.. watch out tongue.
American Ninja Warrior... anyone else wana mute the tv when they watch.. due to the painstakingly obvious and terrible commentary by those two fucking morons.. oiy.. my dog can do better, and her attention span is shorter than Amanda Bynes's memory of being at places...
this whole "Beats Pill" thing...
are they TRYING to make it look like a dildo? because its working. if not.. Dre should stop having the chicks in the commercials molest the things like they need a good fix... either way.. I'm not sure that's something I would want to purchase and flail around..
"hey mom! look at my beats pilldo!"
What is the point of medicine...with side effects that make your problem worse...
"Can't sleep? Try Sleep-o.. Side effects may include trouble sleeping."
At that point.. How can u tell if its a side effect or the problem you started with..
And what's even worse.. Medications with side effects worse than you original problem...
"Weak bladder? Try Peefixer, side effects may include wetting the bed, migraines, numbness of the feet and hands, loss of hearing, pregnancy, and death."
who is in charge of the Internet... like whos the big guy slash gal.. the CEO... the person that says "ahh.. AOL... ur gona have a really annoying sound when you try to get on board.." and "FiOs... you are only going to be available in certain areas, but constantly bug people to switch to it when its not in their neighborhood." ...and where the hell is this persons office.. how do they go to work... that's the cushiest job ever..
"ya uh im goin to work.."
"where can I reach you?"
"...at my office."
"ok where is that."