<![CDATA[ fRANTic <br />   r@nt <br />  chick. - Things I Do Not Have Time For.]]>Wed, 02 Dec 2015 01:51:33 -0800Weebly<![CDATA[text offenderS...]]>Sun, 20 Apr 2014 13:32:15 GMThttp://franticrantchick.weebly.com/things-i-do-not-have-time-for/text-offendersPicture
People who text you at 7 AM on:
A. Weekends
B. Holidays
C. ANY FUCKING DAY EVER.

Unless you are 3000% sure my ass is awake, please withhold sending your super important mass text message of "HAPPY EASTER!"... which comes in the form of a message i cant even get because i may or may not have dropped my phone in the toilet after a grand ol time last weekend and now have to use my back up to my back up phone (I also may have broken another phone prior to the toilet episode).  So thanks, you just woke me up with "UNSUPPORTED MULTIMEDIA MESSAGE."  ...THREE TIMES. 

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<![CDATA[weebly. you suck.]]>Sun, 30 Mar 2014 23:26:27 GMThttp://franticrantchick.weebly.com/things-i-do-not-have-time-for/weebly-you-suck...when weebly deletes one of my pages that had a lot of crap on it.. including fun comments and tweets... and then i have to go back and repost everything... (which is why it all says its from today.. im too lazy to also fix that.)   thanks, jackass.]]><![CDATA[NEW TP = INFINITY,   ME =  -3]]>Sun, 30 Mar 2014 23:12:34 GMThttp://franticrantchick.weebly.com/things-i-do-not-have-time-for/new-tp-infinity-me-3Picture
...when you just wanna wipe and be done with it... but you cant.. because its a new roll of TP..   you reach to start to separate that new roll from its magic TP glue clutches..  and you get the one side started, start to pull, thinking "eh the rest will follow.." but it doesn't, and now you are stuck with a half slice of tp that you cant do shit with (hah..)... and then ur just stuck there trying to pry the whole thing off as it unrolls the one side only, taunting you, until you fix it.. which is taking longer than the initial attempt to separate the entire piece would have in the first place.   damn you new tp. damn you.

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<![CDATA[WORDS  SLASH WORD VERSIONS THAT NEED TO DIE. EW.]]>Sun, 30 Mar 2014 23:10:49 GMThttp://franticrantchick.weebly.com/things-i-do-not-have-time-for/march-30th-20141slither  
schmutz
pus   (I hate this word exponentially when it involves looking at actual puss on something)
noodle

when people use an obnoxious pronunciations of words in attempt to sound smart... aka

trespassing     -->    tress pissing         ...you sound like you have to pee
data (day-ta)  -->    data (dah-tah)     ...you sound like an asshole magician trying to say "Ta-da!"
harassment   -->      hariss   ment        ...its not 2 separate words, you jackass.  
literally          -->     lit-trally      ...you are skipping syllables completely.  throw yourself into a wall. 


more to add...

feel free to comment to add your own.  im sure there are others that equally pain me that I have blocked out of my cranium.
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<![CDATA[girl power....ed down]]>Sun, 30 Mar 2014 23:09:53 GMThttp://franticrantchick.weebly.com/things-i-do-not-have-time-for/girl-powered-downPicture
Nikki & Sara Live...  I had my doubts. they have all been confirmed. I cant believe these chicks have a show.  you are not funny. at all.  Why does this show exist.  Anything that needs a fake laugh track because the audience doesn't know when to laugh, should be put down.  My dog shits funnier  stuff than anything on this show.  I want the last 14 minutes of my life back.  the only reason I made it that far into it is bc im too lazy to get the remote.  it hurts to watch. it literally. hurts. they make me ashamed to be a female. 

the blonde one is kinda cute, if she  doesn't open her mouth.  the other one with the glasses... I get it.. you are going for the "cute quirky" look.  well, you missed.  

The saddest part is, they think they are so clever, "reCapfish" ...oohhhh wow.. I bet you couldn't wait to reveal that bit of genius gold! we just watched the show. we saw what happened. but I guess you needed that filler to take up 6 minutes due to the fact that you have nothing of substance to report anyway.   For future reference,  if you have to laugh at your own "jokes" ... you are the only one.. besides your laugh track.

 The good news for all you aspiring TV Show artists.. this is all it takes to have your own TV show:  
-don't be funny.
-be corny as fuck.
-state the obvious. the entire time. 
-have nothing important to say.
-make people hate their lives for having watched it.

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<![CDATA[id rather be naked.]]>Sun, 30 Mar 2014 23:08:33 GMThttp://franticrantchick.weebly.com/things-i-do-not-have-time-for/id-rather-be-nakedPicture
This is more for the ladies.. but guys.. u can appreciate the last few points.


“Fashion” today.   What. The. Fuck.  I have searched high and low, in many, many stores, even in different states, and it’s all the same crap.   
I am not a peasant woman, im not 15 needing an 80s tie at the bottom, and I sure as hell am not paying full price for half of a shirt that only goes down to my rib cage.   

And what is with all the preggo looking shirts? I understand America is obese as a whole, but I have nothing to hide, so I would like a top that does not flap around over my midsection like a hookers vagina lips.   And these poncho-like cape things.  Who the hell ever said these are necessary.  Am I flying somewhere and am in need of wings? Am I on a field trip to the Maid of the Mist and need precipitation coverage?   Also, I’m pretty sure vests are not “in”.. especially for women… sooo let’s add a collar and make it a button down and see if that works.  Why. 
 
And what’s more depressing, is that every store, has the same.  exact. crap.  Whatever happened to the days where each store had its own style? When you had at least one store you could rely on to always have something you knew you would like.  Now, it’s like all the stores went got scared and conformed to the latest stupid ass style fads.   Im sorry (not really).. but I refuse to stop at stores that stupid enough to follow the shitty fashion sense of a kardashiskank and cannot think for themselves enough to realize this stuff is ugly, heinous, and needs to be burned.  

Newsflash girls, GUYS DO NOT THINK THIS SHIT IS HOTT.  Realistically, guys don’t think much at all when it comes to fashion, as long as you look kinda slutty, but not in an obvious way.  I don’t know why girls have to try so damn hard to get the latest stuff and be obsessed with fads when, A. they will be gone in a month.   
B. the guys you are trying to impress DO NOT KNOW THE FUCKING DIFFERENCE.  
And C.  if it’s really just other women you are trying to impress (and let’s face it, it is), get the fuck over yourself and concern yourself with something that actually matters… like getting new friends that are not materialistic and shallow.


Ps…. Ladies… wearing a shirt with the Pocahontas cut fringe shit at the bottom does NOT camouflage your huge ass muffin top, and the fact that you cannot pull that off.  Plus it just looks stupid. If you are not 12 or constantly in need of things to tie other things with, you should never wear this.  

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<![CDATA[best dressed dumbass]]>Sun, 30 Mar 2014 23:05:36 GMThttp://franticrantchick.weebly.com/things-i-do-not-have-time-for/best-dressed-dumbassPicture
...the way athletic apparel companies always try to make the women look so perfect, like their clothes did that... when im working out I look like a disgusting sweaty mess.  nice try tho. keep targeting those ignorant chicks who think flashy outfits will make them an athlete.  oh, and keep wearing your sports bra on the outside. that's what the Olympians do.

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<![CDATA[stop.]]>Sun, 30 Mar 2014 23:04:33 GMThttp://franticrantchick.weebly.com/things-i-do-not-have-time-for/stopPicture
duck. fucking. face.

no.

and don't say you hate the duck face... and then post a picture of yourself... doing the duck face... it is NOT a way to post a specific picture of yourself in what you think is a flattering pose, only to attempt to make it "effortless" and "casual" and a "i dont care what people think" look by fucking up your face worse that is already was.

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<![CDATA[no whites allowed]]>Sun, 30 Mar 2014 23:03:53 GMThttp://franticrantchick.weebly.com/things-i-do-not-have-time-for/no-whites-allowedPicture
Blackpeoplemeet.com… really… really?… this is happening.  But HEELLLL no would there ever be a whitepeoplemeet.com.  cuz that would be racist… why.. why is that racist but this one isn’t?  we try so hard to push equality, then shit like this arises.  I don’t care what color you are. You could be green with zebra spots and that would be lovely.  But don’t demand equality then put out a site like this, that you would otherwise be in uproar if the situation were reversed. I don’t get why other races can be exclusive, but if white people do it, they are racist.  At least “farmers only”  “Christian mingle” and "our time.com” deal with specific lifestyles… not skin color.  what ever happened to opposites attract?  

I’m pretty sure Martin Luther King Jr. didn’t preach about a website that would set his dream back 50 years.  
 
 Why stop there?   What if a specific race wants to meet someone of another specific 
race?

Black man wants some sweet white ass.com
White women went black and now she cant go back.com
Non-asian wants to experience the asian sensation.com


If you are gona be exclusive based on something you would otherwise fight against yourselves… expect some backlash.  Or at least be creative about it.

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<![CDATA[you suck at reverse psychology]]>Sun, 30 Mar 2014 23:00:59 GMThttp://franticrantchick.weebly.com/things-i-do-not-have-time-for/you-suck-at-reverse-psychologyDear Stupid females:

Stop complaining about something you have like it’s a problem… when you are 128% sure other girls would love to have it, and are just fishing for compliments.    i.e.

“Oh, my, God.  I HATE being a size 2."
 Or
“UUUHHGG my boobs are too big, they like, get in the way!”
 Or
 “I’m too pretty, guys don’t take me seriously.”
 
Theeeeen, either: eat a burger, get ‘em fixed, don’t dress like a skank, or SHUT THE FUCK UP.
This is why I can’t have female friends.]]>